"I think the most fun we had naked when we were little people..."

"You need to comb your sex hair before you see me."

"Call her Meat Curtains."

"The best tramp stamp would be your boyfriend giving a high five. So when you're at it he can give himself a high five."*

"Donald Trump looks like a guido."

"Crunking is a legitimate form of artistic expression."

*Boyfriend agrees