"Look mom, a quiz on facebook to see how big my penis is!"

"How big is your penis, sweetheart?"

"10 inches!"

"Good girl! You're gonna hurt someone with that."

"Mom, I'm a duck!"

"STOP SMOKING POT."

"Put the Dragonball Z theme song on, this battle is epic."

"If it doesn't smell like pot it's not music"

"The disk cleaner?!?! GODDAMNIT THIS IS SUCH A GOOD DAY."

"Imagine the moustache ride on that one."

"I'm not saying fuck-all."