"Doesn't she have the most adorable hair? I want to rip your scalp off."

"Hey Kiera, I know you're only four years old, but I want to rip your scalp off."

"NO SARAH I WILL BODILY REMOVE YOU FROM THAT COMPUTER"

"I'M GOING TO MAKE YOU FALL ASLEEP AND TAKE YOUR PICTURE."

"See, this is why I love you, 'cuz you're so adorable."

"Oh, this left dripples on my face."

"I hate you ALL."

"You know what, I could be smash-ola'd and this still wouldn't make sense."

"Suck my toe."

"Tell them about the many many times I made you pee your pants. It was awesome."

"Seriously, look at him. He's such a bastard. A furry little bastard."

"WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT THERE'S A COOKIE COMING INTO MY HOUSE"

"Don't let me talk to any of them..."

"John Waters is on crack."

"No, boys are like, 'You have boobs! I love you!'

that's how boys are."

"Manfur is SEXY.

You're all WRONG."

"It's hot in here."

"No mom, it's actually a nice temperature."

"You guys are fucked up."

"I had six gay guys rolling around in the back of my van."

"He gave me this big wet gay kiss and I said, Clint stick to boys."

"The chimpanzee was literally mouth-raping the frog."

"I know this guy who, when he went on his honeymoon with his wife to Thailand they went to a tiger farm and one of the tigers in the cage ejaculated all over his face and in his mouth."