"Jodie Foster hasn't had a good movie since that time she got gang-raped."

"Did you know turkeys can masturbate?"
"...how..."

"Gwaah gwaah gwaah GWAAAHHHHH!! gobble gobble gobble..."

"Doesn't she have the most adorable hair? I want to rip your scalp off."

"Hey Kiera, I know you're only four years old, but I want to rip your scalp off."

"NO SARAH I WILL BODILY REMOVE YOU FROM THAT COMPUTER"

"I'M GOING TO MAKE YOU FALL ASLEEP AND TAKE YOUR PICTURE."

"See, this is why I love you, 'cuz you're so adorable."

"Oh, this left dripples on my face."

"I hate you ALL."

"You know what, I could be smash-ola'd and this still wouldn't make sense."

"Suck my toe."